dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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