3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
