So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
