So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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