You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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