He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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