I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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