do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
