whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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