Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
