the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
