Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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