thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize