Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
