Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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