Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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