Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
