Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize