Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize