I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
