There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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