SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
