I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize