i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
