remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
