why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
