Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize