How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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