Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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