So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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