so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
