Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
