eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she pinky promised me she was 18
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
