the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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