remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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