alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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