We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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