i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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