All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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