just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize