Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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