I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
