His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
