Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
