there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
