I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
