she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
