no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Terrible idea I love it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
