we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
