just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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