Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
smell my finger.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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