Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
