I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You were trust falling into bushes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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