Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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