TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
