sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
