you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
