no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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