if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
