She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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