So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Please don't give away my fajitas
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
