I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
