Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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