she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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