mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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