she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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