white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
