Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
